Break some rules, you will be fine
Years ago when we shifted towns and came to this city, everything around me was new. Let’s face it, I was a young kid and was forced to be in a new school with new people. Even our house was different. How was as I supposed to deal with all the changes in my life? I looked forward to meeting new people and making new friends, as thick as the ones I had left behind in my previous school.
I used to come back home, cry and try to tell my parents that I had no friends in school.
My classmates were a weird bunch who had enough money to spend in the bakery and time to monkey around after school, not that we had lack of money. My parents used to get me everything I needed, but we had nothing called pocket money; the single most important rule at home was straight to school and straight back home, no loitering around anywhere. We had moved to a bigger city from a small town and the kids were really meaner in this new city.
The kids were mean and resorted to name calling and body shaming for being fat and it did nothing good to my already plummeting self esteem.
Parents being parents had limits and they never quite understood my predicament. Even when grades started falling and teachers began to complain for unfinished homeworks, it was just seen as me treading off the ‘good path’ and was told off for being spoiled by the bad friends I had. I really wished at that point that they understand that I had no friends – good or bad.
It is only when I started college that I began breaking the basic rules of when to reach home and whom to talk to, that I started making friends. I still have nobody from my school-years I can call my best buddies, but there are many from college who will continue to be in my life even when I’m old and dying.
I’ve often toyed with the idea that I might have been depressed for many years, I wish I could say that it is all in the past but it is not, the rude remarks, the loneliness still haunts me.
In fact the last pages of my notebooks were almost always filled with heartbreaking depressed poetry writing my feelings I could not show before anyone else.it is okay to break rules sometimes and it is also okay if your parents do not understand you all the time Click To Tweet
Two things I learnt in this particular regard is that it is okay to break rules sometimes and it is also okay if your parents do not understand you all the time, because hey it looks like I didn’t turn out so bad if I may say so myself. There is no point blaming anyone because everybody has their limits and they are not meant to be your saviors, they are just your parents. But I won’t deny the fact that it would have been nice to have someone who understood you and knew how to hold your hand as you fight these demons.
If you are going through tough times, hang in there. Talk to someone and if you feel trapped, break some rules, you will be fine.
Linking this to Monday Musings at EverydayGyaan