Break Some Rules, You Will Be Fine #MondayMusings

Break some rules, you will be fine

Years ago when we shifted towns and came to this city, everything around me was new. Let’s face it, I was a young kid and was forced to be in a new school with new people. Even our house was different. How was as I supposed to deal with all the changes in my life? I looked forward to meeting new people and making new friends, as thick as the ones I had left behind in my previous school.

I used to come back home, cry and try to tell my parents that I had no friends in school.

My classmates were a weird bunch who had enough money to spend in the bakery and time to monkey around after school, not that we had lack of money. My parents used to get me everything I needed, but we had nothing called pocket money; the single most important rule at home was straight to school and straight back home, no loitering around anywhere. We had moved to a bigger city from a small town and the kids were really meaner in this new city.

The kids were mean and resorted to name calling and body shaming for being fat and it did nothing good to my already plummeting self esteem.

Parents being parents had limits and they never quite understood my predicament. Even when grades started falling and teachers began to complain for unfinished homeworks, it was just seen as me treading off the ‘good path’ and was told off for being spoiled by the bad friends I had. I really wished at that point that they understand that I had no friends – good or bad.

It is only when I started college that I began breaking the basic rules of when to reach home and whom to talk to, that I started making friends. I still have nobody from my school-years I can call my best buddies, but there are many from college who will continue to be in my life even when I’m old and dying.

I’ve often toyed with the idea that I might have been depressed for many years, I wish I could say that it is all in the past but it is not, the rude remarks, the loneliness still haunts me.

In fact the last pages of my notebooks were almost always filled with heartbreaking depressed poetry writing my feelings I could not show before anyone else.

it is okay to break rules sometimes and it is also okay if your parents do not understand you all the… Click To Tweet

Two things I learnt in this particular regard is that it is okay to break rules sometimes and it is also okay if your parents do not understand you all the time, because hey it looks like I didn’t turn out so bad if I may say so myself There is no point blaming anyone because everybody has their limits and they are not meant to be your saviors, they are just your parents. But I won’t deny the fact that it would have been nice to have someone who understood you and knew how to hold your hand as you fight these demons.

If you are going through tough times, hang in there. Talk to someone and if you feel trapped, break some rules, you will be fine.

Linking this to Monday Musings at EverydayGyaan

 

 

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Writing to me is therapy, it frightens and comforts at the same time. Liberates like nothing else. A book in my own name is a dream, but a bigger dream would be to write something that haunts the reader even after the last page is turned and the book is shut. I enjoy reading and music, spending time with family whilst battling my social awkwardness.

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14 thoughts on “Break Some Rules, You Will Be Fine #MondayMusings

  1. Yeah. I have been through that. I had few I was close with, but not many who wanted to hang out with me, or understand that I was a nice person even though I didn’t have the things they had.

    In engineering, I began to realize that I’m not so bad as I thought I was, though things didn’t go my way. Even now, some of those memories rush back, but thankfully, there is one or two I can talk to now.

    PS: You didn’t turn out so bad, if I say so myself too.
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  2. And I thought I was the only one who does not have ‘best friends’ from school! Believe me when I say I have broken many rules. It’s okay. I am happy by the way I learnt from my mistakes and turned out to be who I am now. Glad you wrote about this!
    Shalini’s latest…To Have or Have NotMy Profile

  3. Hugs! I understand perfectly. And yes, parents sometimes are the worst judges of things like this. It’s hard for kids to fit in. I’m not sure I was depressed, but I certainly was so tentative and stayed below the radar most of the time.
    I’m glad that we’re not so badly scarred that we can make choices to break barriers and define ourselves.

  4. This is the best piece of advise I have got- break the rules, cos you know at times that’s what we need to do!
    You school dilemma reminds of mine, I changed in class 8 & I was always sad & miserable for the whole year! By class 9th I was happy and stuck around till 12th 😉
    I feel we just take time!
    Take care

  5. Parents have this notion that whatever they do is right for us, even if it’s without our concern. I don’t blame them, it’s just they’re blind from love for us.

    I am going to right on this blog title of yours. Hope you don’t mind. 😉
    Sheethal’s latest…The One That Got AwayMy Profile

  6. I am glad you overcame your school years. I had spent a year in a school that sounded exactly like yours. There was so much politics between kids that it was suffocating. Glad I moved to a better school afterwards. I believe parents now are more sensitive to their kids as peer pressure and depression is on the rise. Loved the honesty on your words.
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  7. I am glad you overcame your school years. I had spent a year in a school that sounded exactly like yours. There was so much politics between kids that it was suffocating. Glad I moved to a better school afterwards. I believe parents now are more sensitive to their kids as peer pressure and depression is on the rise. Loved the honesty on your words..
    Rajlakshmi’s latest…10 on 10 – Short Sad PoemsMy Profile

  8. Hmmm okay – so I seem to be on the other side of your argument. First, I think new age parents (that would include me, I hope) are way more understanding than the last gen parents. There are fewer rules for my children and I do take the trouble to explain the logic behind them. Perhaps your parents were apprehensive about the new city and so made those rules for you. I find my daughter struggling with this issue of friends going to the school cafeteria every single day. She spoke to me about it but as a parent I know how very unhealthy that is. So we worked out a compromise – she gets her treat once a week and we take it from there. Breaking the rules is fine as long as it’s done with some logic and not merely for the love of the idea of flouting them.
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  9. I’m glad that you are over those days and that breaking a few rules helped you. Parents always have a hard time in understanding such situations. I stayed in the hostel during the 1st year of my engineering studies and it was difficult to me during weekends as everyone except me used to go to their homes and I was stuck at the hostel alone as my home was in Trivandrum and the college in Kannur, making the commute difficult. I wasn’t allowed to visit any of my friends’ house as my mom was scared of everything. Those were lonely, depressing days. Loved the advice here, Bhavya. I should have broken some rules at that time. I would have made some good memories then. 🙂
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  10. It seems like such a lonely time for you in school. Yeah, rather than breaking rules, stretching some rules is a better way of telling it. As a parent, I would be seriously worried if my teenager breaks the set rules. But, I have to remind myself that as a teenager, I broke many too..

  11. I’ve been through that too. I have just one or two really close school friends, and even we became friendlier when we met in college.

    I also agree that our parents don’t always understand us. I guess with each generation, the gap grows.

    I’ve been through many depressive phases during my life. I’ve never labeled them as such, and I personally think that serves me well.
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  12. Ohh this is heartbreaking and I realy feel for you. Some of my most precious friends today are right from school days. But I can understand what it feels like to be left out in school, having tiffin alone and no one to sit next to in class. I have faced some of this in my school life too, till I found my group of awesomeness! And yes no pocket money was an issue with me too as my parents also didnt believe in it. Straight to school and back home and were picked and dropped – no school bus, no walkng home – we were monitored like a hawk!
    The need or raher the urge to break away was very strong but repressed till it burst out of me one day- havent looked back since!!! 😉 So yes do break a few rules – as far as you can handle them!!!
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  13. Oh thats quite heartbreaking.. But well i got to agree with tulika that these days we parents are way different from the earlier generation. There still may be rules but theres more logic and its put forth in a far better way.

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