“Why dear God did you create me if you had no love for me. Why did you leave me into this world where nobody cares about me or loves me? I might as well be dead and nobody would notice. Not even you.
For what fault of mine did you make me like this, what sin have I committed to be condemned to exist like this, useless, unloved and unwanted.
When everyone my age went to school, I was bound and locked up. Why? Because I was different, because I was unique? Oh no, not unique I was weird, the crack head, the one who went cuckoo.
When others my age got sweets and clothes for festivals, what did I get? Leftovers from my siblings’ plates? Is it too much to ask to be treated like a human?
If they did not want me, why did they give birth to me? If they think I’m the devil’s child why do they still keep me locked up, why can’t they kill me or sacrifice and give my blood to the deity or whatever it is that they do with children like me.
If this was the life you planned for me, why did you not give me the strength to bear it all and not crumble under the pain. The physical pain itself is too much to bear, why you gave me this pain of being not accepted into my own family too!!!
Today I’m ready. Ready to leave this hateful world forever. I have no drop of joy left in me, no iota of desire to live. I’ve seen enough and been tormented enough to take another breath and fuel this wretched existence. I have had enough of being a burden to the very family I’m supposed to look after, im fed up of making my family shed tears and lament over the birth of someone like me. I’ve had enough of it all. Now I understand that the world is no place for people like me, who are born only to repent for some sins of past lives and to torment themselves and seek redemption. But I’ve had enough, I don’t seek redemption. All I ever asked for is acceptance, a bit of love and someone to share my pain with.
But yes, there is one wish. Don’t let anyone else go through what I’ve been through. Never create another child like me. Please.”Â
*****
USC’s MSW Programs Blog Day.
This is written for WriteTribe, where we bloggers have come together to blog for a cause that is close to many of our hearts.Â
The international theme for World Suicide Prevention Day 2013 is Stigma: a major barrier to suicide prevention.
Please use the hashtag #suicideprevention to tweet/ share on Facebook.
How tragic and sad that a person with mental illness has to experience stigma and discrimination from her own family. In such cases suicide can appear to be the best solution for a stigmatised individual.
Shilpa Garg’s latest…Stigma : A Barrier to Suicide Prevention
Mental Illness should be treated like any other disease but the stigma attached to it has to be broken. Chaining the affected person , confining him/her to a secluded place , depriving of the basic necessities is a crime. No person should lift his pen to write a suicide note.
I am saddened by the state of children born with a mental disability. I have a cousin who was a special child and I have seen how people really treat such children and they way they are treated. Its a blessing that my aunt took great care of the child but the others who would visit would look at him with discriminating eyes. Really sad.
Rainbow Hues’s latest…Movie Review : Shuddh Desi Romance
No one should go through this much pain in life. A touching note that I hope no one will ever need to write! 🙁
Jyothi Nair’s latest…And yet we live on
If only we all could give a bit of our time and happiness to these kids/people in darkness… how it would have changed the world!
Sheethal’s latest…Suicide is Permanent but not our Problems.
I commented here twice but comments were not posted 🙁
not sure what the issue is
anyway I wanted to say that To think that some one actually writes such suicide notes is really painful
What can I say… I am all teary right now. Bhavya you have recreated the emotions so beautifully and yet the sadness that drips breaks my heart.. The stigmas that are around us make life for all hell and still most of us stick to them…
Richa Singh’s latest…Next Tata Car Winner Experience
I read this with a heavy heart, recognizing the voice of a young person who felt thrown away, ignored and forgotten by society. The stigma of mental illness is far reaching, and fractures a whole family. It also fosters that ugly blanket of silence due to shame, judgment, lack of education on the whole issue and a boatload of other negatives. This was a clear representation of what people stricken with mental illness go through.
– Dawn
Dawn’s latest…Fabric of reality
It is a very sensitive and thought provoking post, Ishithaa. It is so tragic how some parents fail to communicate with children who differently abled.
So painful reading this and knowing that it happens in the real world :(.
Rachna’s latest…Creating dream travels!
You have portrayed the thoughts and emotions beautifully. cant find words to add to what you have already said.
I didn’t have to click the link to know what this was about, Bhavya – it fitted in well with that story. The sad thing is it’s too close to the truth to be fiction. 🙁
Corinne Rodrigues’s latest…Those Were The Days
V welll written! I hv a heavy heart reading this despite knowing its fiction… great job!
Made me sad … What hurts is that the pain people with disabilities go through is not fiction..it is for real … I have felt this pain for my brothers who have hearing and speech disability… it is the protection and warmth a family can provide which can insulate them from the outside..but there too one has to be very careful..dun overdo..make them feel normal always
Shiva’s latest…To be or Not to Be
Very moving post. Could relate to the miseries of a mentally-ill person out and out. Well expressed!!!
jini maxin’s latest…Just Two Words Mattered From Him
A thought provoking and touching note. Every one is unique, and every one deserves to live, love and be loved.
Vaisakh Venugopal’s latest…The bridge
A heart touching post ….
After reading so much on this topic… I wish that every single person live the life of dignity on the face of this earth ….always
Sheela’s latest…A New You
A heart touching post ! well written 🙂
Ankur Anand’s latest…Jaded Emptiness !
Oh god,suffering a mental illness is another taboo in our society.Even the family does not want to take up the burden of a mentally challenged child.Very heartwarming story n well written.
http://sailorswiferamblings.blogspot.com/2013/09/life-is-beautiful_11.html
Very sad … I have no words to describe what I am feeling deep within, its so true. … I am feeling terrible after reading this…. all I can say is, life is precious and we must do our bit to reach out to those around us and I want to do my bit…
G Angela’s latest…YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE
🙁
So tragic really…
This brought tears to my eyes!
My name is Emma Barrett and I am an Actress/Filmmaker in Los Angeles. I am in the process of raising funds on Kickstarter to make a film based on Simone Back and the shocking true story of her suicide announcement on Facebook that was ignored and ridiculed. This film will hold up a mirror to today’s society and will address the desolate human disconnection that we self-generate with the fear of not being “perfect” or “normal” in society. When it’s actually the imperfections that make us human… and vulnerable… and beautiful. To check out my Kickstarter campaign, please visit http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/emmabarrett/take-the-reins
Emma’s latest…Your support is invaluable.